Benign Attribution
Benign Attribution
(i.e. giving the benefit of the doubt)
An ‘attribution’ is a judgment about the cause of another person's behavior. We ‘attribute’ meaning to why people do things. We make lots of attributions throughout the day; and, it’s not surprising that these assumptions have a direct impact on both how we feels and the quality of our interactions.
As we interact with people we are learning them. For example, if we have a fun interaction with someone we are likely to think that the person is a fun person. This leaves us open to making Fundamental Attribution Errors, which is the tendency to over-emphasize an interaction as reflection a person’s traits or personality. For example, if someone is rude to you, you may assume that they’re generally a rude person, rather than assuming that they were stressed.
Research shows that the more you engage in Hostile Attribution Bias, the attribution of hostile intent to the actions of other, the more interpersonal conflict you have and the more unhappy you are likely to be. This is a pretty obvious idea. If you think that someone messed up or hurt you on purpose you are likely to be more angry and upset. If you consider that it could have been unintentional or a mistake, then you are more likely to address the issue effectively and be open to having positive interactions with that person in the future. This is true at work and at home.
The fix is to engage, on purpose, Benign Attribution Bias. This is simply stopping to consider that what the other person did might not have been meant to hurt you, piss you off, or put you out. Literally, it is giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. After all, it is probable that, from time to time, we all have lapses in our actions that could be taken as abrasive. Don’t you want to be given the benefit of the doubt when others are deciding about your intent?
Application:
When you hear yourself saying he or she is a (bleep), stop and consider that they might not be trying to offend you or piss you off.